The “Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours” Routine

He liked to set on the sofa, drinking his beer, watching whatever happened to be on the channel at the time.  After a couple of beers, he would eventually pull up his t-shirt, wink, and say “how about scratching my back?”
 
She, dutifully, would comply.  One day, he said “lie down and I will scratch your back.  The “scratching” became more of a massage.  And, the “massage” was not restricted to her back.  At first she felt uncomfortable, but then it felt good to have her back massaged … until his hands moved lower.  The “bad” feeling surfaced again.  She was ashamed to feel “good” for a few minutes.  The “bad” feeling went to shame, and then an empty feeling surfaced.  She didn’t really like this.  She knew this couldn’t be right.  It didn’t last long. He quickly stopped and told her to “sit up.”  In a less than a moment, her mother came through the door, unsuspecting of what had just occurred.
 
She got up and went to her room and sat on the bed, staring at the floor.  She didn’t like what had just happened.  She didn’t like it because, for a moment, it actually felt nice.  She didn’t like it because that must mean that she was bad.  No, she didn’t like it … even though her step-father would tell her how pretty she was and how much he loved her.  She didn’t like it … but, she would never tell.  She didn’t want anyone to get mad at her.  She was nine, and this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.
 
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There is certainly nothing wrong with human contact between child and either parent.  In fact, the more they are held, hugged, squeezed, and told they are loved, the better.  But … there is also the human contact of the worse kind.  It’s not easy to always determine when improper contact is being made toward your children, but with a little common sense you can protect your child.
Having a spouse who is abusing alcohol or drugs, watches or reads questionable material, and makes sexual innuendoes in front of your children, may not be the one you want to leave with your child.  To be honest, that person is probably not the person who should be in your home at all, in my personal opinion.
 
The best thing we can do for our children is to sit down with them and talk with them about child predators … before … something happens.  Parents should make sure their children understand that no one has a right to touch them in their private areas.  Children need to know … and believe … that they can immediately come to their parents, should something happen, or they feel uncomfortable around someone.  Parents need to instill trust into their children.
 
Whether it is with my book, “The Promise Book; Tell Someone” or another book, whether it is simply having a quiet talk with them … you need to alert them … before a predator gets to them … first.
 
If you care, please share!

Debbie Barth: 01/12/2017 at 12:07:08 pm EDT
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