He liked to set on the sofa, drinking his beer, watching whatever happened to be on the channel at the time. After a couple of beers, he would eventually pull up his t-shirt, wink, and say “how about scratching my back?”
She, dutifully, would comply. One day, he said “lie down and I will scratch your back. The “scratching” became more of a massage. And, the “massage” was not restricted to her back. At first she felt uncomfortable, but then it felt good to have her back massaged … until his hands moved lower. The “bad” feeling surfaced again. She was ashamed to feel “good” for a few minutes. The “bad” feeling went to shame, and then an empty feeling surfaced. She didn’t really like this. She knew this couldn’t be right. It didn’t last long. He quickly stopped and told her to “sit up.” In a less than a moment, her mother came through the door, unsuspecting of what had just occurred.
She got up and went to her room and sat on the bed, staring at the floor. She didn’t like what had just happened. She didn’t like it because, for a moment, it actually felt nice. She didn’t like it because that must mean that she was bad. No, she didn’t like it … even though her step-father would tell her how pretty she was and how much he loved her. She didn’t like it … but, she would never tell. She didn’t want anyone to get mad at her. She was nine, and this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.
There is certainly nothing wrong with human contact between child and either parent. In fact, the more they are held, hugged, squeezed, and told they are loved, the better. But … there is also the human contact of the worse kind. It’s not easy to always determine when improper contact is being made toward your children, but with a little common sense you can protect your child.
Having a spouse who is abusing alcohol or drugs, watches or reads questionable material, and makes sexual innuendoes in front of your children, may not be the one you want to leave with your child. To be honest, that person is probably not the person who should be in your home at all, in my personal opinion.
The best thing we can do for our children is to sit down with them and talk with them about child predators … before … something happens. Parents should make sure their children understand that no one has a right to touch them in their private areas. Children need to know … and believe … that they can immediately come to their parents, should something happen, or they feel uncomfortable around someone. Parents need to instill trust into their children.
Whether it is with my book, “The Promise Book; Tell Someone” or another book, whether it is simply having a quiet talk with them … you need to alert them … before a predator gets to them … first.
If you care, please share!
Debbie Barth: 01/12/2017 at 12:07:08 pm EDT
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According to a story in USA TODAY … Some school educators who find themselves faced with a teacher who has committed sexual misconduct with a student, will draw up a “settlement” arrangement with the family involved, silencing the family from speaking out, or a future law suit. The teacher involved is then free to go to a different school district for employment, confident that a “reference call” will not turn up his despicable actions during previous employment.
This process is called … “Passing the trash.”
(Excerpt from this story)
“Though passing the trash can be the most expeditious way for a school district to rid itself of a bad teacher — often helping avoid the cost of lawsuits or the burden of fighting teachers unions at termination hearings — the consequences for students can be devastating.
In an ongoing federal lawsuit, a former student testified that New Mexico elementary school teacher Gary Gregor repeatedly touched her legs in class and invited her to sleep in his bed with him. Gregor, who has denied the allegations in the civil suit, resigned from another school district where he was accused of engaging in similar behavior. He declined to comment due to the pending litigation.
“I was a little girl. I thought I could trust adults, right?” the former student said in a deposition. “I can’t trust anyone.” “
We don’t want situations like this to happen with our children. We certainly don’t want our children to not “trust anyone.” We want them to trust YOU … their parent or guardian.
Please talk with your children as early as possible about child predators! You need to start early. Child predators are everywhere … and, they … start early.
“Together, we are pulling out the weeds!”
Debbie Barth: 01/04/2017 at 5:34:03 pm EDT
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Most parents are no longer under the misconception that their children are entirely safe in schools, these days. And, they would be right to feel this way … but, perhaps … there are even more reasons for concerns over your child’s safety, than one may know. And, this problem may come as a huge surprise to you.
I am not talking about the bullying, or the gun-shooting incidences that are plaguing our schools. I am talking about the teachers with whom you place your child’s safety. Some of whom, sexually abuse your children, are caught, and, are allowed to “quietly” move on to other schools, sometimes, with a financial settlement. It’s called … “Passing The Trash.”
According to a recent story in USA Today, written by Steve Reilly, state education agencies across the country have ignored a federal ban on signing secrecy deals with teachers suspected of abusing minors, a practice informally known as “passing the trash." These contracts hide details of sexual behavior and sometimes pay teachers to quit their jobs quietly. The secrecy makes it easier for troubled teachers to find new jobs working with children.
In the most comprehensive national review of teacher discipline to date, USA TODAY examined educator misconduct and licensure databases from every state, reviewed thousands of pages of court filings and employment records and surveyed state education officials to determine how teachers who engage in misconduct remain in the education system.
The findings include a New Jersey teacher who molested five elementary school students, an Oregon substitute teacher who reached under a table to touch a student’s genitals and an Illinois teacher who forced elementary students to eat food off his crotch. In each instance, the teacher had been disciplined for sexual misbehavior in a prior school district.
I will be posting more of their findings during the week. Below, however, is the entire story, from which I will be posting my information.
Have you had the “real” … first talk … with your young children, yet? The talk where you let them know that no one has a right to touch them in their private areas? The talk where you let them know that they can come to you at any time and you will listen to them … and stand by them? If not, I urge you to do so. It’s not going to get better for your child, once they are out of your sight. Indeed, it is my belief; it will only get worse … IF … we don’t stop the child predators. Together we can do this. Together … we can start pulling out the weeds!
Contributors at USA Today: Paul Berger, Jessica Campisi, Jacob Carpenter, Mark Nichols, Nick Penzenstadler, Christopher Schnaars, Laura Ungar and Alison Young.
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Debbie Barth: 01/03/2017 at 3:1:03 pm EDT
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